In law school, I was known as the fashion police. So critical was I of others’ attire that my friends had citations printed for me with boxes to check next to offenses like, “White shoes after Labor Day.”Years later, whether I matured or the Catholic school flashbacks intensified, my focus has shifted from faux pas in fashion to gaffes in grammar.
One particularly heinous crime? Using an apostrophe to pluralize a word. “Don’t miss the firework’s!” “Get your fresh hot dog’s here!” “Two coffee’s for the price of one!”
This offense has become so pervasive that I am tempted to patrol the streets with a red pen and edit each and every violation. Unfortunately, this behavior would constitute vandalism and two wrongs don’t make a right.
So, to carry out my duties as a public servant of the written word, I will use this blog to file periodic reports.
Off to investigate the insidious use of the letter “x.”
Over and out.
